Yooo, man. Is it air-conditioned if I like, break at your place? Just for a while. Just charge to get aback on my feet. Is that cool..? In account of Labor Day, Get this being out of your home.
Meowing Cat Clock
Okay. This jerkoff's been on your couch for continued enough. I don't affliction if it's days, weeks, or months—it's continued enough. Time to smoke 'em out. You can break friends! Just anticipate of him as an application army. You'll drive him out, some close time will pass, and again you'll be best of accompany as barter ally in a few decades. The aboriginal method? Psychological warfare. Mount this meowing cat anxiety aloft the couch—it's so pretty!—and watch as his attic is boring breakable by the songs of assorted bristling artful beasts. It begins. $14
Rebecca Black MP3 Collection
So he's still afraid around? Fine. Let's about-face it up a bit. I alone adulation Rebecca Black, both as an artisan and as a able adolescent woman, but the blow of the animal citizenry seems not to. So absorb $2 on her two MP3s, and let 'em blast. They'll complain. But it's your "new admired song," and added chiefly it's your apostle system. So they'll accept to put up with it. $2
Blu-ray Pornography
You apperceive what's absolutely uncomfortable? Watching porn with a friend. You apperceive what's even added uncomfortable? Watching hardcore porn in 1080p. Yield your aces of some begrimed Blu-ray discs, and watch as bifold assimilation gradually leads to individual occupancy. Various Prices
18" Blacklight Fixture
You apperceive what absolutely grosses out a guest? Seeing all of the dandruff, semen, sweat, and assorted added actual releases broadcast all over their sleeping quarters. Set up this 18" blacklight tube abreast your exceptionable friend's bed, and delay for the revulsion. $20
Refrigerator Door Lock
Okay, you've approved some affable approaches. You've approved annoyance. It's time to fucking able down. It's time for callous measures. It's time to be a dick. It's time to lock the fridge. "Dude, why is there a lock on the fridge?" "Oh, I dunno, just a affair I do now." "Well, can I accept the key? I'm athirst and charge aliment to survive." "Nah." $25
Micro Sonic Grenade
At the end, you ability just accept to swallow, acclimatize your hat, and abode a sonic armament beneath your couch. The piercing, 115 decibel bang will agitate their neurons, accomplish their eyes drain (figuratively), and, we hope, force them to yield the hint. The adumbration is: amuse acquisition a new abode to blast or I'm traveling to accumulate alive you up with this 115 decibel alarm. Adulation you, buddy! $8
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